blue




September was her month and
it looked like she’d taken the blue
out of everything in the world and painted the month with it.
All of this gloom
and suddenly 500 kilometres wasn’t what I was worried about.
I was afraid of calling you on that dreadful day.
but your new best friend gave me your number so I dropped you a text instead.

‘Happy birthday’, i said.

A high school musical.

 A few inside jokes.

Some songs I would’ve never listened to if it wasn’t for you.
These are the only things I would’ve missed if I hadn’t met you.

Yet, between us, am I the only person who has lost something?
Something I think about more often than I’d like to admit.
Something that slightly aches where there isn’t much to ache.

To write this, it took me a year and two of your favorite songs.
I’ve read these lines a thousand times and each time, I feel differently but none of them are gonna make it on this paper.

Each time, I want to introduce something new,
 a new feature of your face?
 that funny thing that happened that day?
 but no, I am not gonna write any of them down.
Nothing more on this page will paint your picture because I’ve adored you enough.
Now it’s time to stop.
Now it’s time I find something new to be sad about.

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